January 31, 2003

80s

I'm in Eighties nostalgic overload today. The Roommate got Before You Were Punk: A Punk Rock Tribute to 80's New Wave in the mail yesterday. I heard about this album when I was in a Hello Kitty store several months ago. (Don't ask why I was in a Hello Kitty store. I just was.) I overheard the music playing over the PA and asked what it was. I wrote down the name of the album, but still haven't gotten around to buying it. The Roommate beat me to it. So, I borrowed it this morning to listen to at work. (She had it for 12 hours...it's that enough?)

Now...say what you will about the Eighties, and Lord knows I have enough scary VH1 Before They Were Stars-ish photos to be embarrassed about, but the music was pretty damn fun. (Okay, not all of it. There was some crap.) You can't not tap your foot and/or smile during Turning Japanese or Goody Two Shoes. You just can't. I dare you to try.

Also, call me dense, but I never realized until today the implication that the guy in 867-5309 (Jenny) got her number off a bathroom wall. Ew! (I must have been a dense teenager suffering from the toxic fumes of applying tons of Aqua Net to my perfectly coiffed hair.)

Every time I go to the gym, there is a different style of music playing. One day it's Hip Hop. Another will be Alternative Creed-esque Rock. After sampling the variety, I must admit that Eighties music is pretty good music to work out to. It's much better than that Trance bullshit they were playing a few weeks ago.

January 27, 2003

Pharmacy Boy

Saturday could have been a productive day if not for my over whelming desire to slack. I did run to Target to refill a prescription at the pharmacy and pick up a few things. I got to the pharmacy just before 1:30. I fully expected them to tell me to pick up my order after 2, knowing their lunch hour is from 1:30 - 2. (I called the pharmacy's VRU beforehand.) This would have been okay with me since I had other shopping to do. To my surprise the clerk, cashier, whatever he is, told me to stick around and they would fill it now.

Then this shriveled up shrew bellies up to the counter and thrusts her scripts to the clerk, cashier, whatever he is. He told her her order could be picked up after 2. The crag starts throwing a fit. A pissy little fit. Like the ones children throw when they are told something they don't want to hear. She started bitching and moaning and spitting and hands-on-hipping. The poor little clerk, cashier, whatever he is reluctantly caves and decides to fill it now, before mine.

Now, keep in mind, the lunch hour is from 1:30 - 2, so if they don't leave at 1:30 they don't get their half hour. They have to be back at 2.

So, even though the little clerk, cashier, whatever he is is filling her prescription, she still feels like bitching.

"It doesn't say when you close for lunch on the phone."

The clerk, cashier, whatever he is says "I think it does."

I chime in "It does."

"Well, where does it say here?", the bitty asks.

I point to the sign. The bottom line in smaller font says when the lunch hour is. "Here."

"Oh...in the fine print."

I resist the urge to whack the bitch with my red plastic shopping basket and instead opt to make faces behind her back to make the clerk, cashier, whatever he is smile.

He should really wear a name tag.

January 21, 2003

99¢

Sunday afternoon following an errand running/shopping excursion, I discovered after dropping 60 bucks at our local Wal*Hell, I forgot to get the one thing I needed most, a kitchen sponge. So yesterday, I decided to check out the new 99¢ Only Store in my neighborhood.

Upon entering the store, I see written in huge blue letters along the top of the back wall "DELI", and am immediately disturbed by this. Not being much of a meat eater any way, I still can't fathom what kind of selection the deli section of a 99¢ Only Store must have. I decide I don't want to find out and avoid the back of the store like the plague.

I find the section for the sponges. I carefully examine each one so I can select the best one for my needs. Then I think "it's just a fucking sponge Brian," and toss one in my basket.

I shop for some other things and am impressed by my finds. A white ceramic bowl that has "MEOW" written on it for The Cat. A couple glass flower vases. A plastic ashtray so my guests won't have to leave their cigarette butts on the patio. Pop up foil sheets just for the hell of it.

I proceed to the checkout and see a woman who has bologna in her cart, no doubt from the mysterious deli section. All the color leaves my face and I feel a chill.

The best product I found was at the check out itself among the "impulse buy" items. A pregnancy test. For 99¢. A pregnancy test for 99¢. At the check out. A pregnancy test for 99¢ at the check out.

Maybe they should put 99¢ condoms at the check out instead.

PS - I've added an About and Links section in the header.

January 17, 2003

The Self

I've been reading Gregg Clare's weblog for a while now. Gregg is a very interesting and smart guy. He's also funny as hell. The other day he discussed the concept of "finding one's self" and the bullshit calling it that implies.

I completely agree with him. Life is a constant evolution and it is only natural to continue growing and changing. I hate when I see or talk to people I haven't seen or talked to in a long time and they say, "Oh you're still the same". That's such crap! In a few ways I am the same (a sly wit dry as a bone, of course.), but as a whole, I'm completely different than I was fifteen, ten or five years ago. Hell, I think I've changed a lot in the last year alone.

I think the people who say that are the ones who really don't change. They still live in the same sad little town they always have and do the same sad little things they always do. There's not a lot of introspection going on with them. You may remember a phone call I received last year. That call was from one of these people.

One comment to Gregg's post had this wonderful quote:

"The self is not something one finds, it is something that one creates." - Thomas Szasz

I love that quote. I think everyone has the power to change. Whether they do or not is up to them.

January 15, 2003

Sad Stats

Since updating to Blog*Spot Plus, I have the new handy dandy feature bStats. Here is what I've learned from this valuable analysis.

No one reads this weblog. I usually get one hit a day. If I'm lucky, two. This is no surprise since I rarely receive any comments, which could mean either no one has anything to say or I am so dull, no one has anything to say. The low traffic could also be in correlation to the number of times I post a month (lately 2 or 3 per month.) This could be because either I have nothing to say or I am so dull, I have nothing to say.
I get a lot of hits from people looking for cheap guitars. (Duh!)
My most popular referrer is Blogger itself.
My most popular non-commercial referrer is The Maddi. (Thank you Maddi!)
I get some hits from people searching for information about particular singers. Mostly Bob Schneider. My favorite ones are when someone is trying to find out if a singer is gay. Apparently cheap blue guitar comes up for both "pete yorn gay" and jonatha brooke lesbian". [Disclaimer: cheap blue guitar is not in the habit of outing singer-songwriters and claims no responsibility for the assumptions of its readers. cheap blue guitar respects the privacy or all singer-songwriters, gay or otherwise -- except the Indigo Girls, whom we would sell our own mothers to have a few beers with.]
When upgrading to Blogger Pro (I was on a spree.), I received 12,500 pyRad impressions. Not really knowing what to do with them, I decided just to use them for the hell of it. My impressions lasted about 24 hours and generated only 8 hits, one of which was me.
My all time favorite referrer (a side from the dear folks at the maddi) is using Google to search for biatch biotch.

January 13, 2003

Paste

I found a wonderful magazine at Borders this weekend. Paste offers what they call "signs of life in music and culture". It is chocked full of articles and interviews with some of my favorite alt, indie and Americana artists.

In an interview with Ani DiFranco, she relates an experience she has last April. At Carnegie Hall on April 6, she was performing a solo show. The first was exactly one year early, however she says...

"It was a completely different city. I was a completely different person, and I felt like I was looking out at a completely different room." ¹She then began to recite "Self Evident", a poem she wrote following September 11.

"I started speaking and I thought, 'What the fuck am I doing? Where do I get the right...what am I dumping on whose lap at this moment?" As she spoke, though, the hall became pin-drop quiet. Somewhere in the rapt audience, high in the third balcony, someone began to sob."

This story reminds me of the importance of art in our society and culture; that art is not only necessary to help us express ourselves to but to help us feel emotion and sometimes help us heal ourselves. We need art to live.

A nice side note: I was talking to my friend Karla on the phone this afternoon and telling her about my discovery of Paste. I told her "it's like they wrote this magazine just for me." We talked for about twenty minutes and before we hung up she said, "I just sent you an email. Be sure to check it when you get off the phone."

When I did, I saw Karla had ordered a year's subscription of the magazine while we were on the phone. Isn't that sweet?

¹Paste - Volume 1 Issue 2

January 2, 2003

Resolve

I have never made New Year's resolutions in the past. It always seemed like a silly idea and destined for failure. However this year seems different and I am motivated to make some changes. I think resolutions can be successful if they set realistically and are not expected to be accomplished immediately.

Michelle makes a list of resolutions each year based on 11 categories: career, charity, creative, cultural, emotional, financial, home improvement, intellectual, physical, social and spiritual. (There is actually a twelfth one, however she doesn't remember it.) Solidarity called, so I made my list for these categories too.

It seems like a long list, but I've given these a lot of thought and really think they are attainable over time.

Develop a responsible retirement plan.	Financial
Keep receipts for deductions.	Financial
Start therapy.	Emotional
Host a dinner party.	Social
Make a regular monthly "date" with a friend I don't see often.	Social
Learn about a favorite artist.	Cultural
Update resume.	Career
Get rid of clutter.	Home Improvement
Organize and store my stuff.	Home Improvement
Cook more.	Creative
Start a hobby/creative outlet.	Creative
Write an essay.	Intellectual
Volunteer at a non-profit organization.	Charity
Read Finding the Boyfriend Within by Brad Gooch.	Spiritual
Read The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron.	Spiritual
Do 30 minutes of cardio 3-4 days a week.	Physical
Eat more fruits and vegetables.	Physical
Eat less sugar.	Physical

What are your resolutions?

PS - Check out Ya Say Ya Wanna Resolution? on the Bradlands.